Bright kids are not better, yet they are different; and because they are, they face
different issues." (Schuler, 2003)
According to Schuler, there are two prevailing yet paradoxical myths about gifted children and adolescents:
Myth 1: They do not have problems; somehow they can handle difficulties on their own.
Myth 2 : Some of their characteristics are perceived as pathological.
Adapted from workshop presentation given by Dr. Nancy Heilbronner, University of Connecticut, CONFRATUTE CONFERENCE for Gifted 2009
TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A GIFTED STUDENT
10. "Don’t be silly . . . why are you so afraid of everything?" According to Dabrowski, gifted children have heightened sensitivities in several areas, some of which are imagination and emotion. Imaginations can spin facts into "what if" scenarios sometimes drawing incorrect or illogical conclusions. They are very conscious of global issues and can feel helpless as far as being able to do anything about it
9. "You should try to make more friends!" Gifted children have varying needs for socialization; some need more, some can be happy with a good book and one or two friends. Often social, emotional, intellectual and physical abilities may develop at varying rates. Let them be the guide, perhaps there is no need Offer Enrichment opportunities May need several different peer groups ie. Intellectual, emotional, social
8. "No more questions!" Sometimes gifted students are forever asking
questions; sometimes not at the most appropriate times. Asking good questions and knowing how to find answers is an essential part of intelligence
Sometimes gifted students get the message that it is not okay to be that curious. Home, friends, and even schools sometimes subtly interact to
discourage children from asking too many questions, from being too smart, from wanting too much. Parking lot…questions answered in half an hour?
"1,2,3.." Ask three people before you ask teacher (good for all)
7. "You’re so smart, smart, smart! We love you!" When approval is linked with performance, child feels that people love them because they are smart, not because of who they are (particularly dangerous for female student and can actually lead to under-achievement). Student starts to feel like imposters, attributing success to luck rather than talent.
recognize things out-side the classroom (sports, humour, being a good friend)
Praise effort
6. "You’re good at so many things—you can be anything you want!" Many gifted students exhibit multiple talents and are reluctant to give up any activity. Well meaning parents and teachers support multipotentiality because they believe it makes the child a better candidate for university applications.
By the time students get to high school, they NEED to focus, help them narrow their choices based on one or two passions "Major accomplishment in most fields requires a devotion of concentrated time and energy"
5. "Don’t you want to be a doctor?"
We often want the best for our students but we have to be careful not to pigeon-hole students into things that WE think are good for them. It doesn’t have to be the word "doctor"; we need to help them under-stand gifts and interests they possess, not gifts you want them to develop. Encourage them to try new activities through various opportunities. If a passion develops, support it!
Be an opportunity maker, facilitator or guide, rather than a director.
4. "You’re so smart! This should be easy for you!"
There is an as-sumption that gifted kids are good at everything. Not all are! Sometimes they are very good in some areas and not in others.
Advocate for these students, particularly when teachers or
others might say "…there are kids way smarter in my class" or "…are you sure they are gifted?" Consider the needs of students who are GLD
3. "Why don’t you draw the lines straighter?" Rigidity in expectation sometimes quashes creativity. Encourage academic and creative risks . It’s about improvement with attempts "colouring outside the lines" can bring about interesting rewards
2. "It’s not your fault!" Sometimes it IS their fault and they have to take responsibility. Get all the facts, both sides of the story. Do not judge
Importance of recognizing both successes AND faults/failure. Focus on improvement
1. "If it’s hard, you can always stop." Encourage students to STAY IN THE STRUGGLE ; to deal with successes and failures.
